


Faking Real Love

by orphan_account



Series: Real Love *Homestuck Stories* [1]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Asexual Damara, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Humanstuck, M/M, Some japanese
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-08-01
Updated: 2015-09-08
Packaged: 2018-04-12 08:58:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 4,392
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4473218
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Porrim and Meulin force Kankri and Damara to fake date but Kankri and Cronus may be dating. And Cronus happens to be Damara's best friend. And Damara's a teen mom. Now Damara will help protect her best  friend's sercet.<br/>(Dancestors are in high school and trolls in Aradia's session are like four to seven years old)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

    I look out my window to see cop cars pulling into the driveway. Shit. Let's see I don't have any drugs in the house. And I didn't steal anything. Wait what if something happen to Radi. I walk to the door just as they knock. I open it. "Hello. Ms. Megido right?" The cop asks. I nod. "Your daughter Aradia broke into a house. She said she was playing hide and seek." He frowns at me. " SHE WERE AT FRIEND HOME. ME VERY SORRY FOR THIS. SHE VERY GOOD GIRL." I say. Then the cop waves his hand over to the cop car. Inside was Radi smiling at me. She opens the car door and runs to the front door. "Mommy! I got to go to the police place!" She says. "THAT NICE NOW GO TO YOU ROOM." I say. She giggles and runs pass me and the cop. "You better be careful with her people like you get hurt very easily." The cop smirks. "YOU MEAN COLOR PEOPLE. GO WAY RACIST. IF YOU TRY TO HURT ANY OF US I WILL CALL I LAWYER. PYROPE IS GOOD FRIEND OF ME." I hiss at him and slam the door.

   Mother returns home from work later that night. "Mrs. Serket called. Someone named Kankri Vantas called the cops on Aradia for breaking into his family's home. Are you okay?" Mother states first thing. "SHE CALL ME MOMMY. I BAD MOM AREN'T I. ME HAVE CHILD CALL ME HER SISTER IN FRONT OF MOST PEOPLE." I say. "Sweetie you were thirteen when she was born and now you are only eighteen. She's only five. You are as good as a mother as you could be. You are strong and brave. I know it's hard but let the spirits guide you." Mother hugs me. "I ONLY HALF NATIVE AMERICA. I NO THINK SPIRITS CARE ABOUT ME." I say. "Oh shush sweetie and go up to bed. You have school tomorrow." Mother kisses my forehead.

   "ARE YOU TELL ME THAT KANKRI VANTAS GOES HERE. CRONUS THAT BOY CALLED COPS ON RADI. THEY CAME TO MY HOME AND ONE THREATENED ME " I stick my tongue out at my best friend, Cronus Ampora. "Chill kitten. Don't go and beat him up. He's a preacher boy. And is really hot." He chuckles. "I JUST GOING TO YELL AT HIM AND CALL HIM MEAN NAME. JUST TELL ME WHAT HE LOOKS LOKE." I mutter. "Pale, Red sweater, white hair. Um... an Indian girl hangs around him. So bye and good luck finding him." Cronus says before walking away. Alright time to find the asshole who called the cops on my daughter.

     I find him in front of the library. He's a fucking dork. I walk up to him. "Hello there. Who are you?" He asks. "I SISTER OF LITTLE GIRL YOU CALL COPS ON FOR BREAKING IN YOU CUNT LICKING ASSHOLE." I shout at him. Some people look towards us. "I'm very sorry about that. I was home alone and hear someone yelling at my cat to go the f word away." He stutters. I flip him off then punch him in the face and walk away.

      By second period the story was all over. Damara Megido punched Kankri Vantas in the face. Like holy fuck slutty immigrant punches preacher boy. Also supposedly he got a bloody nose. Good. He called the cops on Radi. My sweet little Radi. I have to protect her. Me and mother are her only family now.

  
                                                                                  ***FIVE YEARS AGO."**

  
   I held my baby close to me while mother carried our bags. She told she once lived here and moved to Japan with my father just before I was born. Just before he died. She never taught me English untill now that we are moving to the USA. She said we had to get a new start. And now that my father family disowned us, we are broke and are going to live with her parents on a Native American reservation. I knew it was all my fault for getting pregnant at thirteen.

  
                                                                           ***BACK TO PRESENT DAY**

  
   Me and Cronus throw pebbles down at the student at the tables outside. We eat up on the roof because people are loud. And like to come up to me and ask me questions like how do I not speak English well if I'm Native American. Or how many people have I slept with today? So very rude people are. "So did you you hear the news, you and Vantas are a couple that's fighting because you were caught sleeping with me." Cronus says. "HAHA PEOPLE SHOULD KNOW I NEVER CHEAT PLUS YOU LIKE BROTHER TO I." I giggle. "Hey you two!" Someone yells from behind us. I turn around and see an Indian girl. "UM HI. WHO YOU?" I question her. "I'm a good friend of Kanny's, I mean Kankri's. Anyway, I need to talk to Damara about the rumors about her and Kankri." She responded. "WHAT BOUT THEM?" I ask. "Well my Mum, the librarian, heard them and called Kankri's father. They believe the rumors to be true." She says. "SO WHAT YOU WANT ME TO DO." I roll my eyes. "Please fake date Kankri?" She asks. Me and Cronus laugh. "Come on please, if not he's going to get in trouble. His father will be pissed at him for the rumors." She snaps. "FINE I DO IT. FOR TEN DOLLAR DAY." I say. "Alright deal. By the way I'm Porrim. Porrim Maryam." She adds.

  
    Porrim later steals me away from study hall and takes me to the library. I glare when I see Kankri and my friend, Meulin at a table that Porrim pulls me. Okay not friend more like drug dealer. "Alright Meulin would you like to explain to them why there here." Porrim says. "Yes!!! Mog! Me and Porrim work for the school news paper on a couples column and we need you guys to be our main story. Everyone is abuzz about the virgin preacher boy and the slutty bitter immigrant dating." Meulin cheers quietly. "Porrim! You said you wanted me to say sorry about calling the police on a five year old." Kankri groans. "I TOLD HALF TRUTH. I AGREED FOR TEN DOLLAR DAY." I say. "And you will get paid. Kankri you do it for free or I'll tell your dad about your tattoo." Porrim says. "Just explain a little more." He demands. "You guys pretand to be a couple and we write about for a few months. Just keep it interesting." Meulin says. Me and Kankri nod. "Now for the reason why Damara punched Kankri will be easy. Cronus told me a little bit about it. Damara's little sister broke into the Vantas home while playing hide and seek in a near by park with some friends. She had seen Damara being dropped off there before her mother dropped her off at her friends home. Damara had left before Aradia broke in and Kankri called the cops because he hear a strange voice yelling at his cat. Damara lives in poverty and her family is not the biggest fan of police so she was very pissed. But thanks to a source we know they have made up by making out on the school library during those study hall." Porrim says. "We'll edit it later and make it better. Now go on a date tonight. To Crocker Cafe, get to know each other. And be like a couple." Meulin chimes. I look over at Kankri. Cronus was right he is hot, but in a dorky way. "GIVE YOU ADDRESS LATER. PICK UP AT SEVEN." I say before turning around and walking away. This is going to be fun.


	2. Chapter 2

  Mother smiles at me as I look at myself in the mirror. "I'm very happy you got a date. In one day you went from punching the kid to going on a date with him. I just hope he understand that you're asexual not like the last boy. Of course you punched him after a few months of dating." Mother says. "IT LONG STORY FOR JUST LESS THEN DAY HAPPEN IT IN. BIT ME THINK KANKRI IS GOOD FOR ME. HE DORK BUT GOOD. A BIT OF A BABY BUT NO CARE FOR BRAVE." I smile. "Mommy! Come here I have to show you something!" Aradia yells. "I BE OUT IN ONE SECOND RADI." I yell back. I move past mother and walk to the living room. Where Aradia is, with Kankri. "See mommy! It's the wimpy guy who called the cops on me! I think he's here to say sorry." Aradia says. "SWEETIE I GOING ON DATE WITH HIM." I say. "Can he still say sorry because those cops were ugly and smelly? Also sorry about calling you mommy." She says. "IT ALRIGHT. AMD YES HE CAN." I answer her. I glare over at Kankri. "I'm very sorry I call the cops. I'm not very brave." He says. "I forgive you as long as you don't hurt my mommy." Aradia smiles then runs to mother. "Have fun you two." Mother says. "BYE." I say.

   I slip into Kankri's car. He gets in and starts it. Then he drives. We don't talk for a while. "Trigger warning teen pregnancy. So um Aradia is your daughter. I won't tell. It looked like it was a family secret." He remarks. "HER DAD RANDOM BOY IN JAPAN. SHE REASON WE LEFT JAPAN. SHE FIVE. SHE FORGETS WE WANT IT SECRET." I explain. "I don't judge you. You made your choice. And Aradia seems very sweet." Kankri smiles. "YOU TELL ME SECRET NOW." I demand. "Alright. I have a tattoo on my penis that says trigger this." His face turns as red as his sweater. "WHY?" I question him. "Porrim dared me to at a party and someone had spiked the punch so yeah." He mutters. "I WANT SEE." I say. "No! I'm not comfortable with that kind of stuff. You see there's something called demisexual an- "ME KNOW. I ASEXUAL. BUT I STILL WANTS TO SEE IT. " I cut him off. He's demisexual. He won't judge me then. He won't call me a freak or say I'm broken. "Maybe another time. So how did Aradia happen? Like before you realized or what?" He asks. "AFTER. I WAS TOLD I BROKE BY PEERS SO I WENT AND FUCKED SOME DUDE. I DIDN'T KNOW FOR THREE MONTHS. THEN I HID IT. FOR THREE MORE MONTHS. MOTHER FOUND OUT. WE HID IT UNTIL SEVEN MONTHS. THEN ARADIA BORN. MY FATHER FAMILY KICKED US OUT SO WE LEFT TO GO LIVE WITH MOTHER FAMILY." I say more then what I planned on at first but Kankri needs to get to know me if this plan is going to work. "I feel bad that you went through that." He gives me a little smiles. "SO WHAT YOUR FAMILY LIKE?" I ask. "I live with my dad and little brother. My mom died in child birth with my brother. My dad is a preacher and is strict. I can't change in the locker room at school because of his parenting style." Kankri frowns. I place my hand on his shoulder. "I GUESS IF HE FOUND OUT YOU TATTOO YOU BE IN BIG TROUBLE." I say. "Yeah." He bites his lip. "MY HOME ALWAYS SAFE PLACE IF YOU NEED ONE." I pull my hand away.

  We don't speak for the rest of the drive to Crocker Cafe. He gets out and opens my door. "TANKS." I smile. "You're welcome." Kankri says. I grab his hand and we walk into the cafe together. People stare at us so I pull Kankri to the back. "WE SIT BACK HERE LEAST PEOPLE SEE US. I NOT WANT THEM TO STARE." I say. "Yes, good idea. People staring is rather triggering." Kankri says. "SO WHAT YOU DO FOR FUN?" I ask. "I like writing lectures and rants. And reading." He answers. "THAT NICE I LIKE ANIME. AND MUSICALS. I ALSO LIKE BOXING." I say. "That would explain why you hit so hard as you can see my nose is bruised." He touches his nose. "SORRY. I JUST MAD ABOUT COPS AND RADI. COPS NOT HAVE GOOD NAME WHERE I LIVE. THEY NORMAL KILL THOSE THEY ARRESTED FOR DUMB REASONS." I bite my lip. "It's alright. " Kankri reaches over and takes my hand. I blush. "Hey! Damara! Kankri! Mog!" I look over to see Meulin coming towards us with her little sister. "HI MEULIN." I say. "Hello." Kankri smiles at her. "You guys are such a cute couple! And I have the purrfect ship name! Damkri! Doesn't that sounds so great!" Meulin cheers super loudly. Everyone in the cafe looks over. Me and Kankri blush. I eye Cronus over in a booth with his brother and dad. He smirks. I glare at him. Then he winks and stands up. "What a beautiful couple! I heard you had a fight this morning. It's so nice to see a young couple making up. How about a little kiss for the crowd!" He yells. He smirks agian. "That boy is one smart cat! How about it!" Meulin says. I look at Kankri and nod. He nods back and leans towards me. I lean forward and kiss him. I feel his tongue touch my lips. I part them and slip my tongue into his mouth. He taste like chocolate and strawberries. I pull away. Kankri smiles at me. I smile back. Meulin walks away.

  
   Two hours later Kankri takes me home. "WANT TO COME IN. MY MOTHER MIGHT STILL BE UP. SHE MIGHT WANTS TO TALK TO YOU." I say. "Sure." Kankri says. I take his hand and pull him towards the front porch. The door opens and Mother is holding a shotgun. Kankri freezes up. "MOTHER NO NEED TO SCARE HIM. DEMISEXUAL. NOT GOING TO TOUCH ME IF I NOT WANT. PLUS HE WEAK PREACHER BOY." I say. "Damn I miss scaring people you bring home. I thought I got another chance. It's been almost two years since I scared the Mexican boy. I loved when he pissed his pants." Mother says. "I...um...umm...ummm" Kankri stutters. "I hope I didn't break you. You seem like good kid. Just don't hurt Damara we both know how to shoot." Mother ruffles Kankri's hair. "NOW BYE KANKRI." I kiss his cheek and slip inside.


	3. Chapter 3

  The next day Kankri picks me and Aradia up for school. "YOU KNOW YOU NOT HAVE TO DO THIS." I say when I get into the front seat. "It's not like I don't have to drop off my little brother on my way to school. Plus you know." Kankri winks. I smirk. He wants people to see us together more. "Stop making fucking lovey dovey eyes at each other and go already." His little brother yells. "Karkat please don't swear, it's rude. And could trigger someone, I don't even know where you learned that word." Kankri says. "Mommy swears when she has her alone time at night." Aradia says. "YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN ASLEEP." I say. Kankri raises his eyebrows. "I NOT DO ANYTHING DIRTY. " I say. Kankri rolls his eyes and drives off. "How are you still in high school if you're a mom?" Karkat asks me. "I MADE MISTAKE WHEN THIRTEEN. LOVE DAUGHTER BUT IT WAS NOT GOOD IDEA." I say.

  
  "BYE RADI." I say as she hops out of Kankri's car. She waves and follows Karkat into the elementary school.  "KARKAT SEEM LIKE NICE LITTLE CHILD." I say. "Ha-ha he's rather trigger actually." Kankri smiles. I smile back at him.

  
I grab Kankri's arm as we walk into school. People stop and stare. "LET GO TO MY LOCKER. IT IN HALLWAY WITH BROKE LIGHTS. NOT MANY GO THERE." I say, tugging him away from the crowds.  
Cronus is waiting by my locker. "If it isn't my favorite couple." He smirks. "SHUT UP. I AM SO GO TO GET YOU BACK FOR THAT." I say."Oh I'm so scared kitten. " Cronus ruffles my hair. I flip him off. "Well I gotta jet, Ms.Snowman is going to kill me if I'm late again." Cronus says. "I also must be going. I have many things to do for Ms. Maryam." Kankri says. I wave at both of them as they walk off together.

  
I yawn as I sit down in math. I'm so fucking bored. "Hey!!!! Damara!!!!" Some girl says, as she sits on front of me. I say. "Listen Jap girl. I just have a question. How did you get Kankri celibate but super hot Vantas to date you?" She asks. I flip her off.  She scowls and moves away, whispering dumb ass Jap.

  
   After a long day of annoying people, hell even Meenah bugged me about Kankri, I slip into a bubble bath. Porrim is making me and Kankri hang  out tomorrow and I just need a little break. I grab my phone off the phone and start putting on music. But I see a text from Cronus. What the fuck does he want? I read it. 'We need to talk tomorrow. It's really important. Meet me at my house at noon. ' Great more shit for me to worry about.  
I snuggle Aradia in her little toddler bed. She woke me up a while ago because she had a bad dream. "Mommy....am I ever going to get another parent?" She whispers. "DON'T KNOW. MAYBE SOME DAY." I whisper back. "Okay. I just wanted to know. Most of my friends have two parents." Aradia moves closer to me. "I KNOW VRISKA NOT. AND BABY PIEXES." I say. She nods and yawns. I hug her closer to me and fall asleep in her arms.

  
  I take Aradia to the park the next morning before I have to go to Cronus' house. "Mommy look! It's Uncle Cronus' guitar!" Aradia points at some bushes. She's right, Cronus' guitar is laying next to a bush. How odd. Did the asshat leave it here? Is that why he wants to talk? So I can help him find his guitar? Fucking dick eating bitch. He loves that dumb thing more then life. I sign and walk over to pick it up. But I hear moaning. I look behind the bushes. Cronus and Kankri were making out behind it. And Cronus had his hand on Kankri's groin. "HELLO LOVE BIRDIES." I say. They pull away from each other and look at me in alarm. "WHEN HIDING I SAY DO IT INSIDE. NOT IN PARK." I smirk. "Dam! You shouldn't sneak up on people!" Cronus stands up. "Hi Uncle Cronus!" Aradia jumps up at him. "Aye little ram. Why don't you go and play on the playground right over there. We are talking about old people things." He smiles at her. She nods and runs over to the playground. "ALRIGHT TALK. AND YES KNEW YOU WAS GAY. VERY EASY TO TELL." I giggle. "No questions about me? Wow you are a very interesting person." Kankri says. "CRONUS DAD HOMOPHOBIC. AND YOU SAY YOU DAD PREACHER SO I GET IT. YOU BOTH ON CLOSET. " I say. "Yes also, we need you to pretend to date Kankri awhile longer just until the end of the year. And it's March so that's a few months." Cronus says. "FINE. WILL DO BUT OWN ME. NOT NOW BUT SOME DAY." I hug him. "Thanks Dam, you are my best friend." Cronus smiles. "I KNOW. YOU CAN GET BACK TO PUBLIC ALMOST SEX. SEE LATER." I turn around and walk over to Aradia.

  
  I put in a Pokemon movie for Aradia before I leave for my fake date. Cronus is driving me to the movie theater where I'm meeting Kankri. Cronus is also using me as a third wheel and will be coming into the movie awhile after us. Luckily it's a Japanese movie so not too many people will be in there, and I won't be bored. "BYE RADI. ALSO EVEN THOUGH SATURDAY BEDTIME IS 10. I BE GONE TILL 11 AND GRANDMA WILL BE HOME AT 10:30 SO BE IN BED BY THEN. " I say opening the door for Cronus. "God you look decent for a Saturday night." He smirks. "HAHA VERY FUNNY. YOU LOOK LIKE WHORE." I say. Well actually it's how he always dresses. V-neck tee shirt and skinny jeans. "Thanks kitten." He winks. I punch his arm. "NO SUPER GROSS WHEN YOU ARE GOING TO SIT NEXT TO ME." I stick my tongue out at him. "Nah it wouldn't happen anyway. Kankri's demisexual and only a while back has let me feel him up." Cronus says. "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA SO YOU STILL VIRGIN." I chuckle. "Well you have a kid." He smirks. "YEAH AND SHE'S CUTE. AND CALLS YOU UNCLE. NOW LETS GO. YOU DICK EATING CUNT." I flip him off.


	4. Chapter 4

  I wave at Kankri on the movie theater lobby. He walks over to me. "Hey, not that I don't enjoy seeing you but where's Cronus?" He asks. "PARKING HIS CAR. MOVIE START SOON SO HE BE IN SOON." I say. Kankri nods. "While let's go. Are you sure barely anyone will be in there?" Kankri asks. "IT ABOUT HIROSHIMA. NO AMERICAN REALLY WANTS TO FEEL SORRY FOR THE CITY. ONLY PEOPLE WILL BE NERDS WHO HAVE MIDDLE SCHOOL PROJECTS ON IT." I explain. "How do you know this?" Kankri raises his eyebrow. "USED TO LOOK FOR PLACES TO SMOKE. OR CRY. " I frown and grab his arm. I pull him towards the theater place.

  
           I was right. No one here but a few middle schoolers and a group of old Japanese ladies. "Wow, there's almost no one. You were right." Kankri says. We walk up to the back row. The old ladies and middle schoolers are far away in the front.  
Cronus comes in just as the movie begins. He hand me popcorn, pocky, licorice, a large slushie and forty bucks. Ah I love bribes. And having a rich cunt for a best friend makes them even better. I watch the movie and ignore the slight sounds of Cronus and Kankri making out.

  
                              *Later that night at the Vantas home.* Cronus POV

  
    I kiss Kankri on the lips before leaving. "I love chief." I say. "I lo- He get interrupted by the door opening. His father is standing in the door way. Kankri motions for me to leave. I fast walk to the car where Damara's waiting. She looks like she's about to get out. I shake my head at her as I hear the door close. " No Dam. He'll be fine." I say. "HIS DAD BAD." She glares at the house as I get into the car. "Don't worry as son as I can I'm getting an apartment for the two of us. We've been planning to for about a year." I say. Damara puts her hand on my shoulder. "THAT SAD CUNT." She smirks. I kiss her forehead and she punches my arm and flips me off.  
                                             

                                                Kankri POV

  
   Grounded. Of course I'm grounded for fallen for a prick like Cronus. My father is so triggering. I roll over and look at my clock. One in the morning. I'll just sleep in church. Or skip it. I don't think father would want anyone to see my black eye. I throw my pillow at the window. And see a face. Cronus? What the heck is he doing? I walk over and open the window. "Hey chief! Pack a bag or two. You're leaving this place. " He says. I smile.  
Ten minutes later, Cronus is driving into the Megido driveway. He smiles at me. He didn't tell me anything. "Dam's mom said you can stay here. We told her about everything. Of course she laughed a bit untill we got to the part about your dad. So don't try to act like your black eye is from an accident." He says.

                                                  Damara POV

  
     Cronus opens the door and pulls in Kankri. Mother smiles at him. "Your welcome for as long as you need to stay. Just stay out on Wednesdays. I have coworkers who come over then and no one stay here but me." Mother says. "Thanks you, mam. And of course." Kankri says. "And Cronus you can stay the night. But no doing the do on my couch." Mother smirks. Cronus nods. Mother turns and heads into her room. "Why did you two help me?" Kankri asks. "I love you that's why." "HAD FEELING TO HELP. PLUS FISH DICK LOVE YOU." I say. "Well thank you both." He smiles. "ANYWAY NIGHT. IT ONE IN MORNING." I say as I head to bed.


	5. Chapter 5

I throw a bag at Cronus. "IF YOU WANT TO LIVE HERE THEN YOU DO SOME WORK!" I yell at him. He rolls off his couch and lays on the floor. "It's no use Damara, I tried to get him up earlier but he only whined. Anyway we got the last box in and he doesn't get any pizza." Kankri says. Cronus sits up. "Fine I'll help." He groans. " あなたは非常に怠惰で、何もあなたが性交しません脂肪のお尻の女になるだろう!" I yell at him. "That was something rude wasn't it?" Cronus asks. I nod. He flips me off. "SINCE DONE WITH BRINGING BOXES IN. I AM GOING TO LEAVE. BE READY FOR TOMORROW. PORRIM AND MEULIN CAN NOT WAIT TO SEE HOW FAKE DATING WENT. BYE!" I say as I leave.

It's been a month since I was forced to fake date Kankri. I made $70 a week and helped my best friend's boyfriend get out of a homophobic home. It's been a good month. Cronus and Kankri are moving into an apartment with me and Aradia. This is the good life.

"Damara! Look what came in the mail!" Mother says when I get home. It's a letter. "WHAT?" I ask. "Oh sweetie you got a scholarship to Felt University!" She hugs me tightly. I hug her back. I feel happy these days. So happy and its strange.

"Well then my mama owns me fifty dollars because I knew you were gay Kanny! But then people thought you were dating Damara so she thought she was right." Porrim says. She smirks. Kankri blushes and Cronus luagh. "Alright this makes a good couple story for the paper! Thank mew very much!" Meulin cheers.

**END OF PART 1 OF REAL LOVE**


End file.
